Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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