Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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