They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
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i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
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I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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