This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize