Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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