What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
