are you still at the devil's house?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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