Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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