You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize