my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
