OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My life is pants optional.
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