There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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