woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize