so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
