Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
