My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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