But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yo dont text me then not text me
well you can't waste a boner
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
