I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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