wakey wakey hands off snakey
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
