I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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