What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
