he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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