if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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