i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize