I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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