I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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