I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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