I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
