I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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