i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I fill condoms, not promises.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
