Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
