Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
