so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
