great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
