found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
