This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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