the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
