I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
