best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
