did you get engaged???
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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