Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
