she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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