My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
