Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize