I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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