I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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