how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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