apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
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Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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