She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
