He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Congratulations! We have a period
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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