i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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