I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
