the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
