just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
vagina is talking i cant
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
