so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
