He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize