Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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