His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
