Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i think i just lost a toe
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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