you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
